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HOW TO PLAN
AND CREATE A SACRED CEREMONY
Ceremony’s for women have become a thriving event in the last 10 years or so and are becoming more and more popular in the United States, (Although they have been done for centuries in Africa, China and other parts of the world). Ceremonies were also done in most of the Indian Nations and were a huge part of their culture. Why would you do a Sacred Ceremony? Answer: Because these Ceremonies are beneficial to all attending people and also to those who facilitate the events. In this short booklet I would like to explain how to choose your facilitators, how to choose your event location, and also give you step by step instructions on how to plan and give a ceremony to the women of our world in the best possible way. In Creating a Ceremony your first step is to look at your INTENTION. Is this an event to make Money? Your might think about the lives and the emotional harm you might do to others in carrying out a ceremony if that is your only motivation; money. Is it your Intention to have an event for the purpose of helping and/or for the progress of women’s sacred energy? These events are not big money makers; although you might be able to make a little money, also though this should not be your main objective or intention. All Ceremonies are sacred; weather they are a one-day ceremony or a three-day ceremony or longer. Some of you might call this a Retreat that is put on buy your church or organization that you belong too. In any case, if you are the planner (Or caller of the ceremony), your intention should be clear, with integrity. Most Ceremonies should not run over four night and five days. The reasoning behind this is two-fold. Both your helpers, called facilitators, and your invited women coming to the ceremony will get exhausted, (even after doing a three (3) day ceremony). Now about choosing your facilitators; it is essential and extremely important to choose women who will understand the ego, understand about keeping the peace, and understand the responsibilities of facilitating a ceremony for others.
My first Ceremony I did was when I was turning 50 years old, Rev. Joann Coleman asked me to be the Fire Keepers for the Ceremony and I said yes; love too! She also said to be “We will have to grow the right women for the Ceremony”! At that time I did not know what she meant and thought that was an ego driven statement. However, I was to learn that growing the right women and teaching them how to behave during a ceremony, as facilitators, would be most important and not so easy to do. Here are a few explanations which need to be addressed with the women you choose. The facilitators must not interrupt or usurp another while another is facilitating their portion of the Ceremony, we are there to assist and help each other as facilitators. Each Facilitator must stay within the time frame given to them for their event, (could be ½ hour or 1 hours or more). This may vary a lot; see below for timing and samples. We all must practice what we are dong for the Ceremony, and practice with all the facilitators before the event, THIS IS A MUST! They must not change the program without a vote from all the facilitators. In the event of an argument or disagreement, the decision falls on the women who called the ceremony together. She is the beginning point of the Ceremony; although she must not control the ceremony or the events, she has the deciding last word only incase of an argument, (or a facilitator misbehaving). A prayer should be spoken before each event so the facilitator fells balanced and loved before your job begins. This is done to support each other. Several meetings and gatherings of your facilitators should be scheduled far in advance of the Ceremony so that each person may practice and know what the Ceremony will look and feel like. At the meetings an outline should be made so everyone knows the schedule. See two Attachments as SAMPLES. Make your own to fit your desires. It is important to remember that if someone runs over just a little in facilitating a portion of the Ceremony you must not stop the event, adjustment is important; especially if the overlap is due to the invited guest who is your paying customer. Use judgment here that benefits the whole. You still are responsible for controlling the over talking women; some women over share. Lots of love must play a part in controlling your event and getting people to move on. Also, we as facilitators should have talked about helping each other when these situations occur; a signal, like clearing your throat two times, or winking at your helper. IMPORTANT: If someone chooses to leave the Ceremony or Retreat in the middle, and then want to come in a day or few hours later they may not do that! This would upset the energy, the bond, the thread of love that is being developed with all the attending other women. THIS RULE should be spoken too all attending guests at the introduction and/or in your flyers that you mailed out; or at both times. Keeping the integrity of the Ceremony is a must. If people want to leave they may do so, but No ONE is getting a refund. The money has been spent on food, wood, and other essentials, and also to pay for the land and property that the Ceremony is held on. The number of facilitators: The meals and the cook: You will need to have your guests pay before then arrive. Of course, you can see why. No money from your arriving guests may mean you are out of pocket on the money, and then they do not show up! You should make your fees pay for all your expenses and a little profit for you and your facilitators. If you are choosing an outdoor location, or an overnight stay, at a park, a monastery, a ranch, etc., be sure to go in person and look at the facilities. See the sleeping area. Check out the kitchen, and all the areas that you may use. Remember that during Ceremonies, a lot of crying and screaming may occur; releasing of past issues and clearing traumas may take place. You may have dancing or lots of laughter going on. Having a secluded place is very important. We do not want to disturb people who are not attending the Ceremony. Choose your location carefully. Be sure that no men are attending if you are having a woman’s ceremony. Women change when a man comes into the mix. When the man enters the room a lot of women change and become silly, or start to compete with each other, or just act foolish. If you are having a couples Ceremony than, of course men and women will attend. In choosing your location, you also want to be sure no men will be watching this ceremony; this also changes the energy and can rob the women of their privacy and release. How do you grow or train your facilitators? You should get all of your facilitators together in different situations. Maybe go to a movie together or out to dinner. Be sure they can interact with each other. Then set the meetings and practice sessions. If they come late or do not show up at all, you may want to rethink about using them. They need to understand they will have the emotions and well being of others in their hands. They must have the integrity and love to withstand what is going to happen during Ceremony. During your meetings with each other make a list of what you will need, including food. Food List: (This would be a list by itself). The list will end up being quite long if you are having a three-day Ceremony, be sure to go over the list and bring everything you may need. Better to have too much, than not the items you want and need. Suggestions and Samples: A Fire Keeper: A fire keeper builds the fire in a fire pit. Blesses the Fire and lights the flames. The Fire Keeper must remain with the fire all the time. The purpose of the Fire Keeper has many purposes. They must keep the concept that all the women will meet their goals and free themselves from pain and sorrow. Using the flame from the fire, they meditate and pray while the ceremony is going on. They are sometimes a silent partner. They also keep the fire going in case the women of the ceremony need heat, and will be coming outside in the evening. Maybe they will be dancing around the fire, maybe just sitting? Also the fire can be used to heat rocks and then the rocks can be tossed into a pool of water for the women to do a water ceremony. This takes a lot of preparation and the perfect outdoor pool arrangement, so that the hot rocks will not touch the guests; but just heat up the water. These were all my jobs as a fire keeper for two years when I kept the fire. Then I had someone replace me as fire keeper and I did facilitate in other areas. Scarf Dancing: Using scarf’s to dance. Bring lots of scarves from home or go to Goodwill and buy some inexpensive scarves. During the dancing when women are shy or do not want to get up and dance, using a scarf to hide behind makes dancing fun and easy for those type of shy women. Once they get started, you will be surprised how the scarf becomes a good friend, and the dancing becomes quite an event. Let the women dance at least 20 minutes. Some older women may not want to dance that long, but they can sway with the music and keep joining in the scarf dancing. I have done this in 3-day ceremony and danced for 1 hour, and also done this at one-day retreats using scarf dancing for 1/2 hour. Make it fit the ceremony Making a Shrine in the Forest or Mountain: Take your guests on a walk or hike and have them pick up special things on the way; A rock, a leaf, a stick, or flower. When you find the location that you want to build a shrine, have each person place their special items on the space provided. In doing this they should also say a short prayer. You might give them some examples. Examples: I place this rock in this mountain area for my grandson, so he may always have strength and courage in life. Or, I set this flower in this pile for peace on earth. And so on. Each person will have a minute to think, speak and place item. On the way back down the mountain, or walking area total silence is kept…this adds reverence to the placing of the items. If guests talk when you have asked for silence, be sure to say, “Silence please for the respect of others”. The Talking Stick: The Dreamer: The Dreamer is usually done at the peak of the ceremony, meaning in the evening on a one-day ceremony, or on the second night of the three-day ceremony; also in the evening. You must have a room prepared with a mattress on the floor, so the dreamer may lie down and be comfortable. She will be lying there for a long time, especially if you have thirty women or so. You may figure on four hours 7:00 PM to 12:00 AM or longer. The Dreamer will be covered up from head to toe with a white sheet or curtain; this must be light so that the dreamer may breathe easily. (Her face is covered). She will have flowers and a few candles around her; placed in a safe way so that the candles and flowers will not bother the women coming forward to talk to the Dreamer. (Safety is essential). Once all is arranged you can invite the women in the ceremony into the room and ask them to sit down about four feet back from the Dreamer. All the facilitators, except the cook and fire keeper are in the room to help. One person will explain that the dreamer represents all the dreams and the longing that you have had in life; and all the wishes and desires of your heart that did not come true for you. All the pain and sorrow that you did not expect to happen to you in your life. Now you may come forward and tell the dreamer to take the pain and sorrow and disappointment away. The Facilitator who explains this will ask: “Who will come forward and talk to the dreamer?” You may be surprised; some times someone will jump up and rush to be the first one to talk to the dreamer. Other times it will take a few minutes and a little prodding to get the group moving. This is a long process, but once the first person comes forward the group moves easily. Usually it is a surprise to the women coming forward how they start to cry and release all their pain and sorrow to the Dreamer. When they are done crying, the facilitators will help them back to their seating area (may be on the floor). The facilitator may have to hold them and may be rock them until they stop crying, or until they are feeling okay. This takes love and compassion. I have had people feel sick, but not really be sick, a lot of release can make a person feel ill. You might have to give them water and/or a candy bar; this brings them back down a little. Have water, candy and health bar handy in case you need these items, (only if needed). Some women will not cry they will just say their peace and sit back down; this of course, is fine. Each person may be totally different. If a woman does not want to see and talk to the Dreamer that is okay, however, I have never had that happen. After the Dreamer event is over you may send them to bed, no talking at all; they should contemplate on what took place for them. Or you may do a water ceremony. Water Ceremony: The facilitator may say, “When you enter the water it is a blessing and a rebirth, a cleansing.” Or whatever you chose to say before the women began to enter the water. Each person will have exactly two minutes in the water. It is long enough for them to go under, or to splash water over themselves. Usually we call the name of the person to enter the water and ring a bell when the two minutes are up, which tells them to come out of the water. Your guests, may wear a bathing suit or underwear, or go in nude, whatever they are comfortable with. Lots of times, women bring a suit and underwear, but when they see that others go in nude and no one is looking at them or caring if they are nude, they also decide to enter the water as a baby; nude. The women will differently need to sleep after this portion of the ceremony. Also the rules are: no talking to each other, no talking at all, and please do not eat until breakfast, no food. Water is essential to have before bed. This will give them the full benefit of the Dreamer and the Water Ceremony. You and your guests may ask won’t the water get dirty? If it is in a home, you must drain the tub and refill it after each woman exists. If it is in the backyard, have some buckets of hot water available to pour into the small pool, to refresh the water. (This can be a child’s pool that you have purchased for this event). If it is in a big pool no problem just go in. If it is out on land that is set up for ceremonies, you may use hot rocks to heat up the water from the fire of the Fire Keeper. You will need special rocks and a good shovel to pick up the rocks. You will need to choose a strong and healthy woman to be the Fire Keeper in this case. Some places have Kiva’s or tents set up for Ceremony. Some place may have special rooms to use. Locations are important. All of the above suggestions are for your Sacred Ceremony. You may choose whatever you wish to do. It may be totally different than I have outlined here on these pages. There is no one way to do Ceremony. Let your Spirit voice lead you. If you need to, you may email me and I will answer any questions you may have. Peace and Good Health, Alexandria
SAMPLE CEREMONY Arrive 5:00 PM Sign in and Pay (If not paid in full) (Brenda) Put things in room get settled. (Brenda showing people room/see Opening Prayer Alexandria Dinner 6:30 PM or 6:45PM John or Tracey to explain Madre Grande Rules then - Bathroom Break 8:00 PM Finish setting up altar with each girl lighting candle and putting gift on table (altar), also things to be blessed. Each Girl Says her name only. Helen does (Brenda helps per Helen) 8:30 PM Talking Stick — Why they think they are here/why did they come? What are they looking for? Tracey Closing prayer - Alexandria Ask women to go to rooms (No noise please) so others can sleep. Smudge by Helen before entering Gold Room Up early 7 am. A Must 8:00 am Breakfast SMALL SNACK TIME - FRUIT, CHEESE? WE WILL DECIDE (MAYBE WHILE WE PAINT) Health bars or carrots sticks Yes - Drawing names out of special container of sacred women/ Goddess Tracey 10:30 or so Painting some part of the body (washable paint) with a partner. Face, legs, breasts, whatever with a symbol of love or spirit. Maybe even Goddess. ALL OF US. Also paint rock, if we want too. Tracey will look into Paint. 12:00 Noon Dancing in the outside area for one hour with different music. (Arranged by Alexandria) Mary will help with Dancing 1:00 PM Same area Outside a one half hour meditation by Helen... 1/2 hour Dream dancing floating, slow, Tai Chi dancing back to Gold room (Brenda)on the way stop at shrine to place rocks (Tracey to explain Shrine) - Mary does dance and walk to Gold room. Smudge by Helen before entering room 2:00 PM talking circle - how are they feeling, what is going on with them - Tracey Gold Room 3:00 or so who knows...writing in Journal and/or Nap and/or time 4:00 PM Early large Dinner Helen has gone to light fire after dinner. 5:00 PM in Gold Room. I will Smudge this time only. Alexandria Alexandria - Talking about What hurts on the Physical Body, What hurts on the Mental Body, What hurts on the Emotional Body. Feel it/Discuss it. Love and Trust circle. Angel Meditation by Helen (I go to attend the fire) 3 stages. I will bring Paper and Pens. Takes a long time…go to dome and do the Dreamer. (Tracey) These are the secrets they did not share from 5PM on. The Deep secrets. Alexandria asks people to come forward/ Mary watches for people needing assistance. I call to the Fire Keeper to see if she is ready for us. She answers and starts Drumming - Helen We walk slowing to the fire and walk around it three times before entering the Kiva. 10 PM Go in to the Kiva for Water ceremony. Tracey calls out names times two minutes each. Each women Stops in front of Tracey for Oil Blessing After coming out of the Water; Then in front of Alexandria for Ashes Blessing (from our sacred fire) all on Forehead. NO TALKING UNTIL BREAKFAST 7:30 am BREAKFAST Smudge by Helen - 8:30 TALKING STICK - Helen (Gold room) 10:00 AM Sharing love with Universe Sending out with Arrows 11:00 AM Circle of Gift Sharing - and closing Prayer by And blowing out of Candles, walking outside to talk and share and 12:00 Noon Sunday done or so. NOTES; I WILL TALK TO JOHN ABOUT EATING I WILL LOOK FOR LAVA OR GRANTTE, AND TRACEY WILL ALSO CHECK PRICES. Who will be our cooks, and menu?? THIS IS A PRIOR YEAR, VERY INTERESTING!!!! SAMPLE CEREMONY CEREMONY ON JULY 13, 2004 - SUNDAY 8 AM ALEXANDRIA’S HOME — a Training Session (which is also a Ceremony) or small Ceremony. EAT A LIGHT BREAKFAST BEFORE YOU COME TO SAVE MONEY BRING A CANDLE MUST BE ENCASED IN GLASS .99 ONES USUALLY ARE PERFECT FOR CEREMONY IN MOST GROCERY STORES. A MUST: BRING A GIFT FOR ANOTHER SACRED WOMAN. MUST BE 8:00AM TO 8:00 8 AM WASHING OF THE FEET…….ROSE 8:15 AM SMUDING EACH PERSON AS THEY ENTER THE HOUSE…….LOIS 8:25 OPENING PRAYER…….ALEXANDRIA 8:40 AM TALKING STICK…….CHERRY 9:45AM SPIRITUAL WALK OR HIKE…….ALICE 11:00 AM TO 12:00 MEDITATION AND HEALING SESSION…….LED BY LOIS 12:00 NOON LUNCH…….MINER (A BIG MEAL) CLEAN UP MINER 1:15 TO 2:15 OR TALKING STICK…….ROSE 2:00 TO 3:00 CHAKRA TONING AND BALANCING…….CHERRY 3:00 T0 4:00 SCARFDANCING…….ALEXANDRIA 4:00 TO 5:00 MINER…….WHAT EVER YOU WANT YOU DO! DO NOT HAVE TO 5:00 TO 6:00 PM ALICE…….YOUR CHOICE…….WHAT EVER YOU WANT WE 6:00 TO 7:00 THE DREAMER…….CHERRY IS THE DREAMER…….ALEXANDRIA FACILITATES MARCIE…….GET THE WATER READY, SHE IS THE FIREKEEPER, SHE HAS TO MARCIE WILL DRUM THE HEART BEAT WHILE EACH PERSON IS IN THE BELL RINGER FOR WATER CEREMONY....LOIS KEEP TRACK OF THE TIME OIL ANOINTER…….ROSE (PERSON COMES OUT OF WATERS KNEELS IN FRONT OF ROSE) MESSAGE GIVER…….CHERRY (PERSON THEN KNEELS IN FRONT OF CHERRY FOR SPECIAL MESSAGE. 8:00 PM GIFT CIRCLE…….ROSE FINAL PRAYER…….ALEXANDRIA DESERT IF MINER WANTS AFTER CEREMONY MINER WILL PARTICIPATE IN THE ACTIVITIES EXCEPT WALK WHILE LUNCH NONE OF US WILL BE ABLE TO HELP WITH CLEANING UP UNTIL AFTER 8PM SAMPLE MENU IFA SMALL CEREMONY…. A GOOD MEAL IS: SNACK: THREE DAY CEREMONY…. MEAL CAN BE SERVED AT 7:30 PM VEGETARIAN TACOS ARE FUN AND A GOOD WAY FOR PEOPLE TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER, BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO EAT WITH YOUR HANDS...MOSTLY. AFTER DINNER EVENTS UNTIL 11:00 OR 12:00 MIDNIGHT. BREAKFAST: LUNCH SHOULD BE LATE IN THE DAY DUE TO EVENTS. (BECAUSE DINNER WILL BE LATE) DUE TO LATE LUNCH YOU MIGHT HAND OUT FRUIT AROUND 11:30 OR 12:00 NOON If needed.
PASTA OF ANY KIND IS GOOD WITH GARLIC BREAD AND SALAD. NEXT DAY BREAKFAST: LUNCH: DINNER: FRUIT FOR SNACK LATER LAST MEAL - BREAKFAST - NEXT DAY:
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Copyright © 2008 Alexandria Thomas. All rights reserved. |